Malcolm gets a role in the high school play and is so captivated by high school gossip that he forgets his lines. Lois discovers the joys of massage. Hal and Dewey build a society of model buildings in the living room. Francis tries to show his individualism at school when the commandant cracks down on personal belongings.

Bart gets a magic set and with it he and Homer try street performing to make money. When it doesn't work out, Homer leaves Bart on his own, fending for himself. Being abandoned by his father makes Bart into a charity case and people just start giving Bart money. So Bart and Homer start working this angle and then get some advice from the man who wrote the book on grifting, Grampa Simpson. When they get busted pulling a scam, they manage to scam their way out of the situation; but Groundskeeper Willy may wind taking the fall, unless Homer or Bart confesses their guilt.

Bobby is chosen to be the mascot for Tom Landry Middle School. When he informs Hank and friends of the news, they tell him about a tradition where the rival school's band beats up Arlen's mascot when Arlen is ahead. When Arlen takes the lead in the game, Bobby runs away, disgracing the whole school. He enlists Dale's help in trying to regain his reputation by kidnapping the mascot of another school.

A prominent lawyer wakes to find himself in jail and about to be prosecuted for the murder of his wife. He has no memory of this event however, and when the days begin to regress backward towards the murder, he realizes that he has been given a second chance.

Lindsay and Melanie have a bris for their new baby Gus, which Brian decides to miss until Michael convinces him otherwise. Brian decides to crash the party and put his parental foot down. Justin seeking to regain the attention of Brian decides to make himself noticed at Babylon. Meanwhile, Brian's involvement as the father of Gus causes some relationship strain between Lindsay and Melanie. Michael attempting to continue his straight act, runs into a co-worker in front of the gay bars. Also, Ted finally gets lucky with a guy who he's been denying the advances of all night, but ends up with devastating results.

Larry gets himself in trouble when he makes a rude racial comment to Richard's black dermatologist friend. Larry later loses Cheryl's prescription, which causes him to really regret his earlier comment.

Catalina confronts Marcela and tells her that she will support Betty in everything. Patricia asks Betty for a pay raise, Betty refuses.

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