Principal Li forces the entire school to raise funds by going on a casino cruise, on a run-down toilet of a ship. There, Quinn gets stood up by her date; Mr. DeMartino deals with his gambling addiction; and Daria and Jane try in vain to get some sleep. Eventually the ship crashes into a garbage scow; many jabs at Titanic ensue.

You scream, I scream, but Alton Brown would rather make his own ice cream... and sorbet and granita. Secrets the pros don't want you to know and how to find an ice cream machine that delivers the goods without breaking the bank.

After getting pummeled by Khan in a boxing match, Kenny discovers his wife's infidelity and arranges a contract. Miguel prepares to meet his victim face to face. McManus' lawsuit starts taking it's toll as he wrestles with settling or going to court. New inmate Kosygin is mysterious at best and Stanislofsky keeps a safe distance. Busmalis gets a surprise in the mail. Hughes presses Glynn for more information about past deeds. Beecher and Andrew form an alliance that angers Schillinger and Poet and Junior get a hot reception.

Tonight, actor and star of The Thomas Crown Affair, Pierce Brosnan.