Kowalski is framed for the murder of a crime boss. Fraser protects him by letting him stay at the consulate which is official Canadian territory. While Ray and Turnbull are stuck at the consulate, Fraser tries to find the real killer.

Springfield has a bachelor auction, but none of Springfield's bachelors are the least bit attractive. Five women pool their money together and bid on Apu. They share him and he becomes quite the ladies' man. He is discussing his new life with Homer when his mother's letter arrives, reminding him that he has to have an arranged marriage. He tells his mother that he is already married, so she comes to meet his wife. Homer lets him pretend that Marge is his wife and Apu and his mother stay with the Simpsons. While Homer is pretending to not be married to Marge, he discovers the joys of living in a retirement home. Apu's mother hates Marge and she eventually figures it out the deception, so she goes on with plans for Apu's arranged marriage. Everyone shows up for Apu's marriage and Homer tries unsuccessfully to stop the ceremony. Apu finds to his surprise that his wife is a wonderful woman, and decides to marry her as planned.

When Hank and his friends get trounced by four teenagers in a game of paintball, they fear that they're growing old. They decide that to beat the teenagers in a rematch. They'll have to learn to understand the mind of a teenager, while defending their OWN egos in the process.

Set in 1989, the story of the founding of The Lone Gunmen is finally told as we see how a straight-laced federal employee, a sex mad AV expert, and a nerdy computer hacker meet Susanne Modeski, a strange woman with evidence of a government conspiracy. When their plan to expose the conspiracy fails and Susanne is captured by a group of men-in-black, led by none other than X, they soon become a paranoid group of government watchdogs.