(3:32 PM Quad Squad Briefing) Officer Vickie Thomas is at home getting her gear ready for work. Her job is very exciting, going out dealing with the scum as the mayor would call them. She never knows what to expect, be prepared for anything, likes a good fight, it gets the adrenaline pumping, likes to get in there, roll around, give her a fight any day. She gets in her car and drives to work. Sgt. Jim Diamond says they are going to do a buy/bust operation and they have two women in the car, so take care of them. Vickie is a single mom with a six year old son and likes these busts because they are dangerous and exciting. If she was to die her son would be a very rich little boy because she has lots of insurance. They decide to focus on one area because they are losing light. Vickie stops and asks a young girl for a dime. She asks them if they are vice and only has a small piece because she doesn't know them. She hands it to them and they check it out and wind up buying it. They try to say they've seen her around, she says they don't look like vice and the guys don't want her to sell it. She has a blue skirt and a red doorag on and goes back in the Honky Tonk. They drive over there and catch her. Vickie feels sorry for her, but she's glad to get them off the street because they don't care who they sell too like 8, 9 or 10 year olds. (5:05 PM) They make another stop. There are some guys hanging around and they ask for a dime. They go back and get a guy who comes back with a rock. They give it to them, they taste it and say someone sold them wax on the other side of town. The guy asks her if she wants a boyfriend. She says no, but that he is kinda cute. They ask if they are cops and they say they wouldn't do them like that. She radios it in, they are caught and they find a pill canister filled with $20 pieces. She feels sorry for the girls who are trying to support 4-5 kids, but the guys she has no pity for and will bust them all day every day if she can. (4:43 PM Man with Gun Call) Officer Micki Mashburn has a bad died blond mullet and short spiky hair. She has worked this area for over 5 years. You get to know the area and the people, they know when you are on or off shift and when they can commit crimes. They sell drugs and quit when she comes on duty. There is a suspect standing on Ford and Mitchell, possibly armed. It was called in by someone who knows him. He is walking near a place called Checkers with four guys there. She calls him over, checks him and he has no ID. He is all fidgety and says he doesn't live there and is visiting his grandma, but doesn't know her address. She lives over there. He has a beeper, says the guys are his partners and has no answer why he doesn't carry ID. She puts him in the back of the car and goes over to the wall where they were hanging out and finds drugs behind it. There is a canister of rocks and Quaaludes. The guys are on another corner and she asks if they want to claim it and they say no. The charge is with the guy in the red shirt. Mark arrives as back up and she wants him to search the suspect, especially if he shoved something in his crotch area. (Airport Narcotics Unit) Sgt. Danny Long has information from the FBI and a photo of someone who is supposed to be flying out of Tampa and carrying narcotics, unknown what kind. They have their names and they are on the manifest. Detective James Contento asks if it's in the luggage or on them, but they don't know. They walk over to the Delta check in and are in plain clothes. They spot and follow them to the stairs and check the guy at the bottom. They ask if they can talk to him and if they can search his bag. The woman he is with asks if he's in trouble for flying under a different name. Detective James Quinn searches too. They find a joint which she says she forgot was there. They bring in the dog and then search their clothes. They find a large bag of pot and tell her they'll bring a female officer to search her. She says they just bought the pot to smoke it and are not dealers. She is under arrest, it's a felony possession. They say they can put her husband on another flight, but she says she is staying with him. They find pills on her and she says they are diet pills, but has no prescription and got them from a friend. She says she's overweight, lost 40 pounds and has people ask her if she's pregnant all the time. The husband takes her stuff and leaves. She says it's a chance for him to be a standup boyfriend to come back and get her out of jail.

Live from New York, it's... Dana Carvey!



Sketches include "Another Post-Desert Storm Speech," "Chia Head," "Jasper, The Stinging Clown," "America's Most Wanted," "Central High Class Reunion," "Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley," "Not Getting Any," and "Michael's Elevator Fans."



The Black Crowes performed "Thick and Thin" and "She Talks to Angels."