Jessica, the boys' sixteen year old babysitter, tricks them into doing chores around the house, even Malcolm is fooled. Hal gets a job as a salesman.

John feels like climbing the walls after Chris bans smoking from the diner and Margaret won't let him light up in the office. Elsewhere, Bob convinces Jake that Amanda is cheating on him after Jake unwittingly walks into the diner wearing lime green pants that are too small for him; and Linda persuades John to treat a friend's dog.

On St. Valentine's Day Marge is too tired in participating in the lovemaking that Homer was so looking forward to. Dejected, Homer leaves the house and stumbles across a billboard for some extension courses. When he is thrown out of the "Strip for Your Wife" class led by Dr. Hibbert, he stumbles into "Successmanship 101" class. He gets the book for the class and with it he decides to change the direction of his life. Homer goes into work with a new attitude, but when he presents his ideas for improvements to Mr. Burns, they are all rejected unread. Later when Homer overhears that Mr. Burns actually has a canary named as the plant's legal owner. With this information and some encouragement from his family Homer decides upon a plan. With Bart's help, Homer releases the bird, which leaves the plant with no owner. In rare sign of intelligence, Homer outwits Mr. Burns and is able to take over the vacancy left by the canary. His first act in his new job is to fire Mr. Burns. Now Homer is in charge of the power plant and besides learning about the "door shutting thing" he soon learns how difficult it is to be at the top. He misses out on quality time with his family. Mr. Burns returns for a visit and shows Homer the people he missed out on being with throughout his life, Mr. Burns then tries to kill Homer by drugging him and sealing him in a tomb. He isn't fast enough as Homer recovers and easily escapes. As a wrap up to his latest escapade Homer (and everyone) celebrate "HOMER'S 305th EVERYTHING IS BACK TO NORMAL BBQ."

Hank takes Bobby to work at Strickland Propane, where Bobby shocks his father by using unethical sales tactics to sell grills. Meanwhile, Bill gets his foot stuck to a weather balloon and winds up flying around the town.

Sydney confronts her mother, and Emily has to make a decision about her husband.

"When does it stop sounding weird that someone's your 'wife'-
Federico's reply to Nate's query is that the first year of marriage is the hardest and it's normal to be dissatisfied from time to time. But Nate demurs. "No, it's great", he says, "It is, I'm totally into it". When he gets home, however, that certitude is tested. Lisa informs him that she's had enough of Carol's "hostile dementia"; she's quit her job and they'll have to move in with Ruth. "That's not the worst thing that ever happened, is it- she asks. Nate tries to hid his ambivalence: "It's not the best thing that could happen either... "
But Ruth is gracious - if a bit standoffish, owing to the peanut butter incident - allowing the younger Fisher family to take up residence in David's old room. "I'm happy to have you", she assures them, and Ruth does seem happier lately. She's struck up a friendship with Bettina, who is decidedly different from anyone else in Ruth's circle. When Ruth's with Bettina, she does things she would never do on her own, i.e., blowing off a job interview and pocketing a lipstick at a department store.
While Ruth is starting a relationship, Claire is ending one. When Phil tells her she can't attend one of his band's gigs because another woman will be there, Claire acts as if it doesn't bother her. Eventually, however, she confronts Phil with her true feelings, explaining, "I'm kind of a one-at-a-time sexual person I think". When Phil tells her he doesn't feel the same, Claire calls it quits. Although her love life has stalled, things are going better at LAC-Arts. An unconventional new instructor, Olivier Castro-Staal, extols Claire's work, holding up one of her drawings and declaring that it's good because it "... instantly makes me want to throw up".
As all this is happening, David and Keith are at a vacation resort. Initially, David is self-conscious around so many straight couples. But after several room service Pina Coladas, he loosens up considerably. He proudly - and loudly - announces that he and Keith are gay, and that "hot man-on-man love action" is taking place on their side of the paper-thin wall. The good times are short-lived, though; on the homeward drive Keith and David get stuck in traffic. In a matter of minutes they're back to their old routine, squabbling about whose fault it is that they're not going anywhere.

Brian tells Lindsay that he will help with the Gay and Lesbian Center's "Carnivale" fund-raiser-for 20 percent of the take. After the center's board members learn that Brian has lined up corporate sponsors to match the proceeds up to $100,000, they agree to his price. For $500, Brian hires Justin to create a poster, and Ethan expresses concern about Brian's motive to Justin. Brian's "Carnivale", an exotic, erotic assortment of outrageous sideshow performances and games, scandalizes Melanie and Lindsay, as well as the rest of the board, but is a huge financial success. Brian buys a Corvette with his earnings. Meanwhile, Debbie joins the boys' gym, much to Michael's consternation, and starts to diet in order to make herself desirable to her beau, Detective Carl Horvath. She confides to Ted and Emmett that, being out of practice, she fears she will disappoint him in bed. To guarantee Horvath's satisfaction, Ted and Emmett proceed to teach her how to perform oral sex. Debbie succeeds so well that Horvath makes an offhand comment about how much practice she must have had in the past to be so accomplished, making Debbie feel like a whore. She angrily tells him to leave. Ted and Emmett try to repair the damage by telling Horvath the truth. He is so touched that Debbie has made such an effort to please him that he goes to Debbie to apologize-but not before getting some pointers on pleasing a woman from two lesbian cops. Her endometriosis cured with a simple outpatient procedure, Melanie can now bear a child. She and Lindsay ask Brian to donate sperm again so that Gus and their second child will be related by blood. After first refusing, Brian later relents, but Melanie changes her mind about having Brian father her child. Ben's ex-lover Paul, who infected him with HIV, dies in an AIDS hospice. A panicked Ben becomes obsessed with his gym workouts, finally turning to steroids to pack on muscle as a hedge against the potential wasting effects of the disease.

The vision of a hit on crime boss Cathan Donnegal leads to Johnny's involvement with the mob.

Segment #1 - Frankie Muniz entrusts his $250,000 Porsche Speedster to a valet so that he can meet with Ashton about a proposed movie project. The valet takes the car for a spin around the block a few times. Meanwhile, Frankie believes his beautiful car was just stolen!



Segment #2: Justin Timberlake is led to believe he owes $900,000 in back taxes and they start repossessing his stuff. When he's almost in tears they end it.



Segment #3: Ryan Pinkston goes to the red carpet making fun of celebrities.

Coming Soon...