(Fort Worth, TX - 8:56 PM Officer Assistance Call) East Division - Officer Brett Mills goes to where a woman in a red van is stopped in a parking lot. She is told to get out and she keeps saying, "What did I do- The van is stolen and she says Ty owns it and he brought it to her to drive it for him. She got out of court today for prostitution, evading arrest and trespassing. They find a crack pipe inside and the male passenger doesn't know anything. She freaks out, bangs her head against the trunk and says she can't breathe. They hog tie her and she says, "I'm not going down for this". Then she screams, "I'm being choked!" Officer Amy Rodriguez ties her hands in the back, she slams her head, says her wrists are bleeding and is taken to jail. Jacksonville, FL - Zone 1 (2:26 AM Burglary in Progress) Officer Terrence Hightower says martial arts keeps him focused. He finds a black guy in the street whose lady stabbed him in the arm. It turns out his lady is Travis - a man who admits he has a penis. They were fighting, he's a stroller, not a prostitute. He came home and they were doing coke, the guy went to the store, came back and Travis stabbed him. He has scars on his back and both of them are HIV+. The victim says they live together, he went outside to change a tire and keep it real. He then rambles incoherently. He came home at 2am and Travis said he wasn't going to take it any more and stabbed him. He's charged with battery. Pierce County WA (1:41 AM Traffic Stop) South Hill Precinct - Deputy Theron Hardesty loves graveyard because he gets to be proactive. He stops a car with no lights on, asks the woman for her license and she says she doesn't have it. She cries, claims she's running from her boyfriend, doesn't know where she is, isn't from around here and the car isn't hers - it's Christina's. The car was stolen yesterday so he makes her get out and arrests her. She pretends to cry, is scared, claims she loaned her the car 2 days ago, she just came from her sisters' house and isn't lying. She wants to call her. She is a suspect in the original theft, Christina is her roommate and she took the car to score some meth. She keeps saying, "I had the car two days". She stays with her sister in a nearby trailer park and they can check. (Aired instead of #1709. Fox Mistakenly Lists this as Bad Girls 3) #1724.

Live from New York, it's... Will Forte!



Sketches include "White House Apprentice," "Debbie Downer," "American Trainwreck Awards," "George W. Bush's Homocranial Machine" (cartoon), "Feeding Buddies," "The Coolest Teacher At Benton Township High School," "The Falconer," and "Drunk Businessmen."



U2 performed "Vertigo," "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own," "I Will Follow," and a fourth song that wasn't broadcast because of time constraints.

The Morgan Aero 8GTN is driven by Richard and derided by James and Jeremy. James and Richard pay tribute to the London Routemaster bus; Richard tries his luck at Historic People Carrier Racing and Jeremy takes a Jaguar S Type diesel to the Nrburgring in Germany, to see if he can complete a lap of the 13 mile circuit (with 147 corners) in under ten minutes.



James gets all nostalgic about a musical instrument and Mercedes 300SL 'gullwing'.



Christian Slater is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.