(Bureau of Police) Officer Harry Jackson is #578 and patrols an area with prostitutes. He stops to talk to two of them on Stafford and Union. The young girl says she is 18, Harry says no. She says her birthday is 8/26 and that he knows her. The older woman tells her to shut up and answer the questions and she's going to get a 40, some Taco Bell and going home to eat. He asks why was she talking to a man in a car then. She claims it was her boyfriend and he doesn't buy it. The young girl turns out to be 15 years old and again says he knows her. He says he talks to 25 girls a night and doesn't remember their names unless he arrests them a bunch of time. She curses a few times so he arrests her. She says her mom is dead and the older one tells her to shut up. Harry wants to see her shoes and see if the older one has warrants. She just met her, didn't know she was 15, was with a friend and he can ask her. The 15 year old tries to get out the other side of his police car and he puts her back in. The older says she was with a retarded dude and is going to get him some tacos because he has nothing to eat. He asks if she is going to be back on the street. She says hell no, it'll take 15 minutes. He checks the 15 year olds' purse, finds condoms and wants to contact her parents to see if they know what she's doing out there everyday. He calls for a female officer because she crawls out of the car, up on the roof, her dress goes up and she curses out the cameraman for 10 seconds street. She's totally high and it takes a few cops to calm her down. Harry gives her to a female to transport her to juvenile. She fights, rolls, struggles, screams, says get off of me and they throw her in the back of car where she yells at them. Harry can't believe how strong she is. (Narcotics Task Force Buy-Bust Briefing) Multnomah County Sheriff's Dept - Sgt. John Bunnell says they are going to a hotel in the area with Hispanics fresh up from Mexico they want to get rid of. Special Agent Celeste Cowan is going in and he tells her to be calm, like she wants to party. Talk if you must, ask for coca or cheva. If they want to take them somewhere, take off across from the Bomber. The girls use a red corvette to make the buy as John watches from across the street hoping they can do this in one shot. The guys see them and approach and the girls make a buy for $200. It's their second buy of black tar. It's a lot of dope. They'll follow up tomorrow. (11:16 AM Next Day) John wants them to flash a lot and has $17,000 cash. He wants them to ask for a pound, but to pay for half of it now, half later. Don't front the money, it doesn't leave the car or else they'll be working parking patrol in Butte Montana and they laugh. Celeste goes up to the house smoking as kids are around. John hopes she doesn't give the bust signal because he needs to see more of it. She asks to see a pound. John gets nervous she is going to blow it. The drugs are at the sister's unit where the little girl is, she's the drug runner. She counts it out, that's the bust signal. Undercover and uniformed cops pour into the first unit. John says he won't take the kids if she shows them where the rest of the dope is. If she won't tell then kids are gone. The woman agrees and leads them around back and the kids try to go in too. She goes into the room and then acts like she doesn't know what they want. They explain it's drugs and guns. John finds a sack with 10 big bags of black tar, $250,000 - $300,000 worth. John tells Celeste she did a good job, but he was worried. Sgt. Loren Caddy goes to a bad accident. Traffic is blocked off everywhere, fire department has the jaws of life, EMS arrives, life flight takes one off and the second person is dead. There is also a young girl in the crash., she is 6, going by ambulance. There were four women in car, the driver is DOA and her feet were pinned under gas pedals. There is a set of teeth on the dash. A witness says he was behind the brown Toyota that got hit. It stopped at the stop sign and the second guy broadsided them doing 50mph. The husband shows up and says it was his wife, sister in law and two kids. He asks if his wife made it and Loren doesn't want to tell him. He says he doesn't know... did he see the cars? The 6 year old and 12 year old are OK, they need you more. The 12 year old was taken first, before they got there, they called, she is OK. They were out garage sale shopping and found clothes in the car. Loren asks him if he has someone to drive him or needs a ride. He says he can do it. He's not a doctor, but the guy needs some help to deal with it. Anything he can do, let him know and gives him his card. He has a friend in the truck and Loren wants the friend to drive. Jenny's in one hospital and the other kid is in another hospital. His friend Bud says to park his truck and he'll take him to the hospital in his truck. They all go to the hospital with Bud where they tell him his wife was fatally injured in the accident, it was instant. To encourage the use of seatbelts the husband allowed the footage in the segment to be shown.

Live from New York, it's... the voice of A. Whitney Brown!



Sketches include "The Miracle Of Fatima '89," "Plug Away," "Die Squaren Ost Berliner," "Donheiser," "The Eggman," "Lank Thompson," "All About Deborah Norville," "Average Blind Date," and "Last Maxwell House Ad."



Billy Joel performs "We Didn't Start The Fire" and "Downeaster Alexa."