Detectives Tony Moreno and Brian Nicholas of the Pittsburgh, PA, Bureau of Police approach two individuals they suspect are involved in an illegal "hand to hand" drug transaction. When a suspect turns and attempts to dispose of a handgun, the detectives arrest both individuals without any hesitation. After it is discovered that the detained suspect's mouth is filled with crack, he dramatically laments his situation, calling himself a "loser".

In a disturbing and shocking segment, Officers Jack Carson and Sally Jones of the Anchorage, AK, Police Department respond to bizarre call about a male suspect attempting to sell or trade a juvenile female for crack cocaine.

Live from New York (for the 600th time), its... Seth Meyers!



Sketches include "Anderson Cooper 360," "Basic Instinct 2: Return of the Beaver," "Deal or No Deal," "Automated-Phone Lady," "Besos y Lagrimas," "13th Annual Women's Basketball Coaches Fashion Awards," "Zorro's Body Double," "Rascals' Karoake," "Immigrants Backstage," and "Wine Snobs."



Mary J. Blige performs "Be Without You" and "Enough Crying."

When Stevie goes to the hospital, Malcolm tries making up every excuse he can think of to not go because he can't face the truth about his illness. Meanwhile, back home, Hal gets highly competitive about his new remote control boat, while Lois thinks she's going insane.