This episode of the spoof documentary sees Chief Commissioner Miekelson trying out some weapons, getting his portrait painted and doing 'thumbthing' about bigotry. Meanwhile, the rural police deal with a cat stranded in a boat, the urban police aren't fooled by a bluffing burglar and the traffic cops encounter a dozy pedestrian and a sleeping salesman. Volunteer Officer Ken Beattie fines a litterbug on a bridge, Operator Maggie LeBeau tells us about her heroes, and Sergeant Karen Ann Millar is offered fingerprints and some glockenspiel music from local man Bobby Muir.

Traffic officers McKirdy and Singh fall out over issuing a ticket to a family member but make up over some music at the end of their shift. City cops McLaren and Fletcher meet a familiar face while attending a bag snatch, and rural officers Mackay and McIntosh deal with some quarrelsome landowners. Call Centre Operator Maggie LeBeau has some useful advice for homebuyers, Sergeant Karen Ann Millar has to deal with a curry pie and a birthday cake, and Volunteer Officer Beattie finds himself following the leads of five dogs. The Chief explains the importance of listening to the public and the implausibility of some people's names, before heading to London for a press conference to launch a combined Scottish Police Force/London City Force initiative with an old colleague.

The officers deal with an endless Christmas, a drug dealer's excuses and Bobby Muir's nonsense.

Commissioner Mikelson's plan for working at home does not go to plan.

Traffic officer Hugh McKirdy becomes starstruck as he and his partner Surjit Singh respond to an incident involving Michelle McManus. They also take us on a tour of the police impound. Having been sure that the Scottish Police Force IT system has been hacked by North Korea, Chief Commissioner Miekelson is both relieved, and a little embarrassed, to discover it was actually the work of the daughter of a woman he was dating. He discusses Freedom of Information before giving an award for bravery then grudgingly receiving an award for public service. Officer McLaren and Fletcher use good police work, and baking skills, to arrest a mobile phone thief, while Maggie LeBeau shows us the Call Centre 'Thank You Room', containing gifts from happy customers. Desk sergeant Karen Ann Millar is surprised by someone in the toilet and helps local man Bobby with his jury summons. Volunteer officer Ken Beattie stands in for a drumming busker and a dodgy tummy won't stop rural officers Mackay and McIntosh helping a woman with a break-in at her house.

While helping a blind man do some shopping, Volunteer Officer Ken Beattie discovers there's more to him than meets the eye. Something that also applies to the old pensioner that Officers McLaren and Fletcher rush to rescue. Then these city cops become intoxicated by the drugs they are meant to be guarding. Maggie LeBeau takes us on a tour of her call centre, Desk Sergeant Karen Ann Millar is confronted by a case of cut-price bananas, and countryside cops McIntosh and Mackay arrest a malicious metal detector. Traffic Officers McKirdy and Singh discover that behind the make-up, a criminal clown has a familiar face. Chief Commissioner Miekelson discusses what the Scottish Police Force do with lost property, before he takes part in a local charity golf match. He then does a post-mortem on his appearance before a committee of MSPs.