When Chris secretly listens to his parents' comedy albums, he discovers that telling dirty jokes to his classmates is the key to popularity. Drew has to deal with an unwanted admirer in the neighborhood; and Rochelle decides to find her mother a man.

On their way to Ritchie's desert camping trip, Christine, Richard, Matthew, and Barb stay at a seedy motel and get on each others' nerves.

Seventh-round competition includes a ballroom dance and a Latin dance from each couple.

With just six Bachelorettes remaining, Host Chris announces that this week there will be one group date and two individual dates. No roses will be handed out on the dates but at the end of the week, there will be four women left, who will all be getting a hometown visit from Andy. But first, Andy will be taking them all out on his yacht.

Thinking that Bob Barker may be his father, Barney is overjoyed to be a contestant on The Price is Right. Marshall and Lily try sleeping apart prior to the wedding.

When Derwin is unexpectedly forced to take Melanie to singer Drew Sidora's (guest starring as herself) video release party, he panics over how the meeting between them is going to turn out. Kelly and Tasha continue to grow in their work relationship, while Tasha has trouble finding new clients. Meanwhile Jason struggles with his new parenting responsibilities. Hosea Chanchez also stars.

Nadia approves an interrogation technique that might prove fatal to Audrey. Doyle covertly aids Jack in the hopes that he can save her from further mental trauma.Daniels discovers that he may have a leak in his administration when he is confronted by the angry Russian president.Chloe and Morris's relationship hits the rocks, while Heller delivers Jack a stern warning.

Hiro and Ando find themselves five years after the destruction of New York City. People with extraordinary abilities are labeled as terrorists and are being registered, hunted, and killed. Hiro and Ando meet up with darker versions of the other heroes in preparation for a showdown with the President. This includes a darker side of Matt, a Jessica/Niki with a clear winner in their battle, a brown-haired Claire, and a man named Andy, who's a big hearted Texan. It also features an event at an upscale gentleman's club.

Alan asks Charlie to help Jake with his book report so he can take the time to go to the DMV. Charlie agrees and then decides he wants to go to the race track and takes Jake with him. Alan is conned at the DMV.

Go beneath the streets of Berlin and unearth the remains of the Nazi bunkers.

Carrie's ecstatic when an affordable apartment opens in Manhattan, but Doug's reluctant to leave Queens. Arthur meets singer Ava St. Clair.

When one of Horatios team lets their personal problems contaminate the investigation involving a spurned ex-lover, Horatio has to fire that team member.

In an effort to help save the diner from being repossessed by some mysterious person, Tommy searches for answers to find out who is buying up all the land in the area, and learns more about the circumstances of his fathers death.

Hugh discovers the missing money from the safe and suspects everybody, Wayne included. So Wayne, thinking fast to explain his whereabouts on the night of the crime, comes up with a story about a mystery Panco investor. Now all the Malloys have to do is find one. Enter libidinous ex-ballplayer Rudy Blue.

Tonight, author and journalist Christopher Hitchens promotes his book God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything.
Jon begins the show with a look at the Democrats first presidential debate in a continuing segment, "Clusterf@#uck to the White House". Senior Political Analyst Samantha Bee also talked with Jon about the possible transformations the candidates will go through on the way to the 2008 election in a segment called "Mass Debaters". Finally, the show resorts to an age old tradition of having one product sponsor an entire television program in a segment called "Crisis in Sudan", brought to you by BubbleYum. Senior Genocide Correspondent John Oliver, Senior Africa Correspondent Aasif Mandvi, and Senior Political Analyst Rob Riggle each report about some aspect of the Darfur genocide while plugging away the deliciousness of BubbleYum.

Tonight Stephen welcomes former New Jersey Senator and author of The New American Story, Bill Bradley

Segment #1 - Freddy arrives at a dog groomer's to pick up his dog but they tell him the papers were ruined so they don't know who's dog is whose. They bring out the wrong dog and when a guy walks in with Freddy's dog, the employees don't believe him. The dog acts like the guy is the owner and they question whether Freddy is the real owner.
Segment #2 - Molly and a friend are going to a restuarant and she parks beside a construction zone. When they come back she discovers her car is covered in debris and they accuse her of parking underneath the construction site. She yells at them for destroying her car.
Segment #3 - Magic is eating luch with his son when a girl his son dated for a day shows up and asks him why he hasn't called her. He tells her he doesn't want to see her so she leaves upset. They are heading to the car when they see her keying her phone number into Magic's car.

Coming Soon...

This week the show looks at the Large Hadron Collider which is an expensive attempt to recreate the big bang. If the attempt is successful it could help unlock the secrets of the universe.

Moz is trying his best to enjoy his stag night. However, Judith has had a party mask super-glued to her face, three crabs have escaped in the flat and Jesus has just appeared in the loft.