Dharma's parents arrive for their weekly yoga class only to find Dharma in tears because all her other students have deserted her for the popular self-defense class across the hall. Greg's efforts to cheer her up only get them evicted from Kitty's operatic fund raising evening. Clearing out her locker, Dharma curiously wanders into the self-defense class that turns out to be run by a wacky woman named Spyder, who is promoting herself with alarmist flyers about a massive increase in crime in the neighborhood. When Dharma protests that this is a lie, Spyder intimidates her physically, then invades a depressed Dharma's nightmare about breaking her non-violent principles and retaliating. When Dharma does attempt to remonstrate with Spyder, both she and Greg get their butts kicked.

Dr. Monahan makes inappropriate advances toward Kelly. When she confronts him, he claims that he has done nothing wrong and accuses her of immaturity. Brandon lies about his whereabouts to Kelly and spends the day with Emma. They kiss after he drives her home. After discovering Brandon's relationship with Kelly, Emma tries to get to him by writing columns about the situation. David begins working at a car wash and befriends a gay teenage co-worker. He tries to convince the boy's parents to take him back, as he is sleeping at the car wash. David and Valerie proceed with their plan to make their exes jealous. Donna becomes upset and throws David out of the apartment, forcing him to move into Valerie's bedroom. Steve performs at the After Dark's comedy showcase. He initially bombs, but quickly recovers. He confesses to Carly that he stole all of the well-received material from Richard Belzer, and shares his history of stupid behavior.

The Mayor's free-thinking daughter, Meg, with whom he has a somewhat strained relationship, puts the "bare" in bareback when she disrupts a rally with hansom-carriage drivers in Central Park to draw attention to her animal rights stance - and not coincidentally, herself. Meantime, the gang tries to reunite a needy Paul with ex-girlfriend Claudia, but he's smitten with his new pen-pal.

Corky is working to help the zoo with their charity auction. Murphy's bout with cancer has made her realize there may not another chance to do some of the things she'd like to do. When the one item goes up for bid that she is interested in, it's Murphy Brown vs. Olivia Newton-John for the right to conduct a symphony orchestra. Meanwhile, Doris tells Jim that it is time to file the divorce papers; Murphy encourages him to fight for her.

A message overheard on an answering machine leads Briscoe and Curtis to a confessed murderer and the home of wealthy Carl Anderton, whose stubborn non-cooperation with the district attorney threatens to create a serious miscarriage of justice.