Cartman wins a national environmental essay contest by plagiarizing Thoreau's Walden. The prize is getting on live TV with Kathy Lee Gifford, who visits South Park. This causes Mr. Garrison to relive a traumatic childhood memory when young Kathy Lee beat him in a talent show. Mr. Hat convinces Mr. Garrison that he must kill her. Meanwhile, Cartman decides to take Weight Gain 4000 so that he can "bulk up" for his big appearance. He becomes so fat that when he is accepting the award from Kathy Lee, the stage collapses at the same moment Mr. Garrison fires at her, hitting Kenny instead. Cartman gets to be on Geraldo, Mr. Hat is committed to a mental hospital, and Chef gives Kathy Lee some sweet lovin'.

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