(Pierce County WA - 12:02 AM Armed Robbery Call) Officer Joe Kolp goes to set up a containment area. Officer Russ Martin is on the scene. A man has his bosses' truck from work and a guy broke in and stole tools including a nail gun. K-9 Officer Chris Karl from Tacoma is brought in and they go through the wood and find the guy on the other side of a fence sleeping under a blanket. Joe pulls the blanket off and the guy pulls it back up and fights them. He gets tased three times and screams and fights. His nose gets bloody, says there is no other guy, he doesn't know what's going on and didn't fight anyone. He is cuffed and led off. The Lakewood Fire Dept cleans up his wound. The second guy is spotted in a rundown house so they go to get him. There are two people in the living room and the man is found hiding in a bed and won't come out. After the dog is brought in he complies, gets out and is cuffed. They found the stolen property too. Little Rock, AR - (12:52 AM Pursuit in Progress) FTO John Comeau spots a stolen vehicle and positions himself on the freeway. The black guy passes and then takes off through a field and back onto a side road, then runs on foot into the woods. He goes into a drainage pipe and won't come out so they follow him. He is caught and brought out all wet. His pants are off and his knees are cut. He ran because he's high on coke. The car is his partners' who lives on Johnson St. He had no clue what he was doing and didn't know if he'd get away after his silver jeep blew a tire and got stuck. Officer Mischa Fulton runs him and finds out he's a major thief. Forth Worth, TX - (1:05 PM Felony Warrant Call) North Division - Officer Steve Groppi has a lot of fun at work, especially catching criminals. It's like hide and seek. Officer Robert Guerrero goes with him to pick up Javier at his girlfriends house. Evette answers with a small, fat child and says she was asleep and Javier isn't there. The door is smashed up and the window is broken. She calls the cops on him/ The place is a disaster and eventually he is found under a mattress. She says his brothers are looking for him, he abused her and she filed a restraining order on him. He is shirtless, heavily tattooed and won't say why he was hiding. He wants to put his clothes on, but they tell him no. There is also a second child there and she is told she can go to jail for lying. Javier is on felony probation for assault so he is going back to jail.

(Pierce County WA - 1:43 AM Public Disturbance Call) South Hill Precinct - Deputy Patrick Davidson works the eat area where there's not many cops, but lots of tweakers and dopeheads. He goes to a hotel on the call of Tim who is really wasted in Apt 21. When Pat arrives Tim takes off and is caught around back. Deputy Eugene Abaun assists. Tim ran because he thought they were trying to hit him, so he threw everything. He was high on coke and was going out to score. He's been awake for 4-5 days, is barefoot, can't walk because he has football feet. He's not on probation, on bond. He's done coke all day since he was 26 years old. He doesn't deal, lost his pipe and is bi-polar. The landlord wants him out. Christine can drive him away because it's not a crime to be high. So they let him go. The owner says he was wandering up and down knocking on doors last night. He told him to stay inside and wants him out tomorrow. He throws his stuff in a garbage bag and leaves. Santa Ana, CA - Officer Garry Caruso grew up around police since his dad was a cop. He saw it, heard stories and it sounded like fun. He wasn't pushed into it. (1:38 AM Street Patrol) They drive an unmarked car into a known gang alley where they go to do and sell drugs. They go after a white El Camino with guys inside and catch them. The driver, Kevin, is an old white guy. The passenger is a young Hispanic. They go to pull the young guy out and he tries to swallow the drugs and they choke it out of him and cuff him. Officer Mary Campuzano was first on the scene. Kevin is on parole for a possession charge in 1998. He was going to pick up a girl named Shasta and the young guy just got in his car because he needed a ride. He saw he had drugs and he told him to get rid of them. Both go to jail. Las Vegas - South East Area Command - Officer Gibron Smith loves Vegas, but it gets hot - over 110 degrees and stays like that for months. It gets real hot on 4 hours of calls outside of your car. Sgt. Kelly White says they can get dehydrated. They go to a gas station where a guy is pumping gas for 4 hours. The guy says he was looking for his keys for 10 minutes. He left home at 8:30 am and now it's 9:30. They tell him it's really 11:45. They find prescription drugs on him with the labels removed. He says they are his moms', but the label wasn't hers. He mixed the bottles to consolidate the pills for her to help her pain. He is a musician, classically trained, but his mom got hurt and he's taking care of her. His face is all made up, but he claims he's not wearing make up. He says his lips are chapped. He was shopping, but bought nothing and didn't get gas. The cashier says she watched him there for hours. He came in to buy stuff, forget his credit card and went back to his car and spent 30 minutes looking for it. His keys he couldn't find were on the roof the whole time.

Live from New York, it's... Rachel Dratch!



Sketches include "American Idol," "CheapKids.Net" (three parts), "Versace Ski Trip," "Starkisha and Portia at the Purse Shop," "Exclusive Connections," "The Trump Family," "Merv The Perv," "Rafael Alonzo's I.T.F. Technical Computer Institute," "Inside Barbie's Dreamhouse," "Love, Pittsburgh Style," and "Bear City: Cigarette Shopping" (film.)



Keane performs: "Somewhere Only We Know" and "Everybody's Changing."

Coming Soon...