Sally meets a suave Italian-American man at a restaurant. He woos her, and when she learns he goes by the name of Sammy "The Butcher" Marchetti, she and Tommy are thrilled because they assume he's a mobster. Sammy asks Tommy to run errands for him, and Tommy's excited to be working as - he assumes - a bag man for the Mob. When Sally and Tommy learn that Sam's not actually a Mafioso but a real butcher, his appeal fades, and they both lose interest in him. Mary, concerned that she and Dick need to work on their communication skills, convinces him to go to a couples retreat. To her dismay, her good intentions get turned around as everyone there - including Harry and Vicki, the poster children for public displays of affection - embraces Dick for his openness, and criticizes Mary for her emotional unavailability.

When Hank takes Bobby to the Dallas Cowboys training camp in Wichita Falls, Bobby says he likes Wichita Falls better than Arlen. Fearing that Bobby will leave Arlen when he grows up, Hank decides to make a video to convince the Cowboys to move their training camp to Arlen.

Mike agrees to donate sperm for Paul and Claudia, not realizing what Paul forgot to tell him. A City Hall tour guide is harassing Stacy. James has been commissioned to write a piece for "Sassy".

Everyone agrees that Fry's unsanitary and disrespectful lifestyle is interrupting business, and they are forced to throw him out. He seeks refuge with Bender, whose robot apartment is far too small to be suitable for a human's inhabitance. Leela offers to help the two find a new apartment, and they find the perfect place. It has the one thing Fry wants most, a big-screen TV. However, when he and Bender sit down to watch their favorite show, they come upon a depressing revelation. Bender is pushed into depression, leaving Fry to decide if losing his best friend is worth it for his dream home.