Boomhauer discovers that his brother, Patch, is getting married to the girl Boomhauer loves, Katherine. When it reaches a boiling point, Boomhauer drops out as best man at the wedding and Hank is forced to take his place.

Fearing that Bobby is succumbing to bad influences, Hank makes him join a local church youth group. Bobby discovers that the group consists of cool punks (including their tattooed pastor, Pastor K) who worship God through skateboarding and rock n' roll. Hank approves of Bobby's new found interest in religion, but disapproves of the way Bobby starts to dress and talk, and when Bobby gets his ear pierced, Hank forbids Bobby to attend the big Christian rock festival, Messiahfest. Meanwhile, Hank's friends (and Kahn) decide that passing row convicts shouldn't be the only ones to get great meals, so they create the Last Meal Club, dedicated to creating perfect 'last meals' for themselves.

A washed-up former Dallas Cowboy moves into the neighborhood, and nobody can admit that he's a jerk. Hank becomes so star-struck by meeting 'Big' Willie Lane, that he forgets all about his duties as "Block Captain", bending and breaking the rules to accommodate his idol. When things go too far, Hank has to draw the line, and take charge of a former hero, to maintain his standing in the neighborhood.

Hank has an idea, he wants to take Bobby to the doctor to get him some testosterone supplements to boost his energy. The doctor informs the Hills, that he just doesn't hand out testosterone to kids as an energy booster, he does, however give it to adult males who suffer from "PMS". Peggy secretly gets the prescription filled, and drugs Hank. Soon, Hank's a born-again teenager, with boundless energy and drive. When the prescription runs out, she runs into trouble when the doctor refuses a refill.

The actor who plays TV's "Monsignor Martinez" invites Peggy to Mexico City to tutor his children for an English-language exam. In Mexico, Peggy starts to suspect that her suave employer might be hitting on her. Meanwhile, Luanne takes on Peggy's duties at home.

When Hank's house sustains minor water damage, a man from the insurance company sets out to get rich, by determining that the Hill household is infested with mold. The parade of homes was just about to commence, and Hank was proud to have their home featured for the first time, when the mold removal team shows up, and starts making holes in the walls. When he can't reason with them to make them stop, he joins them.

Hank needs to take some antique furniture to his mother in Arizona, so he rents an 18-wheeler and takes Bobby on a road trip (with Dale, Bill and Boomhauer stowing away). At a truck stop, they meet several tough truckers who scoff at Hank for trying to "play trucker." Meanwhile, Peggy and Luanne try to write a Christmas novelty song.

After becoming inquisitive about how much money the family makes, Bobby decides that he will do some investigating of his own. After seeing some old paperwork in the garage, Bobby determines that Hank is a rich miser. Feeling that Hank is just being greedy, he goes on a shopping spree with Hank's emergency credit card. Meanwhile, news of Hank's hidden wealth spread through the alley and out about town.

When Hank asks Peggy to design an art piece for Strickland Propane, she creates the "Probot", a statue made out of propane tanks. Her sculpture is rejected by the city board, but picked up by an art dealer from Dallas. Unfortunately, Peggy finds out that the dealer presents her to the public as an uneducated hillbilly. Meanwhile, Dale starts wearing a suit of armor and uses his new found invincibility to insult people without consequences.

When Rich gets hired on at Strickland Propane, Hank goes out of his way to welcome him into the Strickland family. Rich starts to test the waters, with some off-color jokes and comments, and gets a positive reaction from the employees. Everyone except Hank finds this new employee hilarious, and when things go too far, he seeks out an attorney who recommends that Hank file a sexual harassment suit against Strickland Propane.

Luanne and Bill both get jobs at the hippest hair salon in Arlen, "Hottyz". But to land the coveted spots, they make some major changes. Changes that don't sit too well with their friends and families, or themselves after awhile.

Hank takes Bobby and the guys on a fishing trip, where they vow to eat only what they catch. A very hungry Bobby befriends the campers next to them, who are a group of hippies. After they feed him half of a hamburger bun, Bobby starts to eat with them. The hippies run out of their supply, and come to Bobby for repayment.

Peggy volunteers to help with the school cheerleading squad, in order to get them to learn some cheers to motivate the football team. Up until now, the squad is only concerned with winning the dance competitions and trophies from other schools. When Peggy gets the crowds behind the team, the school principal replaces the current coach with Peggy....who takes it too far.

When NHRA driver John Force needs an organ transplant, Dale is the only one who can save him. Hank encourages Dale to ignore his fear of hospitals and give up his kidney to save Force. Dale reluctantly agrees, but only if Hank takes his place being Dale for the day, a task that consists of outlandish duties.

When flood threatens the town, the Arlenites gather in the communal shelter: The Tom Landry gym. Hank is supposed to be in charge, but while he's delayed at the town's hydroelectric dam debating over whether or not to open the floodgates, Bill blunders his way into a leadership role. He finds the power and the adoration of the masses delicious and soon becomes a tinpot dictator, with Hank in the brig and Kahn as his right-hand man. Meantime, the kids go wild in the yearbook office, Peggy regresses, and Dale schemes to build an ark to float his family to safety.

The success of Dale's new security company is threatened when Cotton becomes the local auxiliary police officer.

After reviewing Bobby's History textbook, Hank discovers that the story of the Alamo has been replaced. Hank teams up with Bruce Tuttle, an aspiring writer-director, to stage a re-enactment of the Battle of the Alamo, but Bruce creates a revisionist version of the story. Meanwhile, Peggy tries to use Flat Stanley to teach safety rules to children.

Hank is outraged when he finds that the Texas State Fair Grill-Off doesn't allow grilling with propane. Luanne, who wants to be treated like an adult, offers to help Hank organize a grilling protest. Luanne enlists the help of college protesters, which so appalls Hank that he kicks her off the protest. Determined to prove herself, Luanne climbs up into Big Tex, the State Fair's giant mascot, and continues protesting on her own. Meanwhile, Peggy tries to visit a house where a famous cuddle took place, but the real estate agent is only letting in potential buyers.

Bobby's knowledge of pop culture takes the Quiz Bowl team to the championships, but Bobby begins to buckle under the stress of competition.

When Hank suffers a back injury at work and none of his doctors can fix it, he tries the healing powers of yoga. At first, he finds it a little too wacky, but thanks to the help of Yogi Victor, he realizes that it actually works. Meanwhile, Hank's insurance company sets out to prove that his worker's compensation claim is false and Peggy fights to keep the old Pink & White market open.

Connie is turned down for admission to a prestigious summer school because it already has too many Asian kids. Realizing that working hard and overachieving will never help them get ahead in life, Kahn and Minh decide to give up and live like beer-drinking, El Camino-driving rednecks.

Forced to decide between enrolling in shop class where he'll work with guys and sharp objects, or joining the peer counseling class where he'll talk lonely young girls through their problems, Bobby goes where the ladies are. But after a few days of giving advice to these crazy girls, Bobby is the one who needs counseling.