Fraser and Ray pick up a lonely guy who poses as a fugitive to get companionship.

It's Valentine's Day - and since the girls are all boyfriend-less, they have a cleansing bonfire. Ross goes out with a cute neighbor girl, but he sees Susan & Carol at the same Japanese restaurant, and he ignores his own date. Joey's hot new girlfriend sets Chandler up with her friend - who turns out to be Janice.

Elaine tries to make a homosexual man 'switch teams'. George gets a hair piece that makes him look ridiculous but gives him more confidence. Kramer sets George up with a bald woman and debates whether or not he can date a bald woman. Jerry starts dating a cop but she makes him take a lie detector test when she thinks he's lying about not watching Melrose Place.

Valentine's Day finds Carol and Doug caring for Tatiana, a six-year-old Russian girl with AIDS abandoned in the ER by her adoptive mother. Mark and Susan care for a dog hit by Officer Grabarsky. Three cheerleaders come to the ER after ingesting chocolates laced with LSD, which Deb later accidentally eats. Wendy's hand is broken in a trauma by a patient having a seizure.

After seeing all the homeless dogs on TV, Beavis and Butt-head go to the animal shelter to get adopt one. They choose the most vicious one they can - one that really seems to hate Beavis.