Sally becomes a pseudo celebrity when she beats up Mark Hamill in a restaurant, and Dick becomes jealous while Tommy's school life is affected by Sally's newfound fame. As Sally's assistant, Harry becomes obsessed with keeping Sally on top.

A shy and brainy librarian is attracted to Dick, while Sally realizes why she's attracted to Officer Don: his uniform. Meanwhile, Tommy and Harry write a "killer" episode of The X-Files.

Troy McClure introduces three possible spin-offs from the series.



Chief Wiggum, P.I.

Chief Wiggum is a detective in New Orleans and Principal Skinner is his assistant. Their first case pits them against Big Daddy, an operator in New Orleans who's kidnapped Ralph.



The Love-Matic Grampa

Moe's Love Tester machine has a special soul... Grampa's. He tries to put Moe's love life into order.



The Simpson Family Smile-Time Variety Hour

The family returns in a new variety show format a'la The Brady Bunch Hour with a side of Laugh-In. Their show even features a "new girl" playing Lisa the way a new girl played Jan on the Brady show.

Bobby is worried because he's been invited to his first boy-girl party, where the kids will play Spin the Bottle. Luanne is worried because she has a big hairstyling test coming up. When Luanne brings home a plastic "practice head," Bobby secretly starts using it to practice interacting with the opposite sex. To Peggy's horror, she walks into Bobby's room and finds him kissing the plastic head.

Mulder undergoes an experimental form of hypnotherapy to recover his memories about his sister's abduction, but the treatment has side effects including psychotic behavior, and Mulder wakes up one morning in a motel room with someone else's blood all over him.