Homer takes the kids to the zoo, and then they take a newspaper tour. Homer reveals his talent for identifying food and coincidentally, it is the food critic's last day at the newspaper. Homer writes a sample review on a typewriter. The typewriter has no "e" key, so it turns out to be a pretty bad review. Also in it, he makes threatening statements to the U.N. and repeats the phrase, "Screw Flanders." He pretends that it is a joke and vows to rewrite it. Lisa helps him this time and he gets the job. Homer and Lisa soon give positive reviews to every restaurant in town. At the advice of other food critics, he decides to change his style and he starts giving nothing but bad reviews. Lisa doesn't like his new style, so she leaves him to write the articles on his own. Homer has to review a food festival. Local restaurant owners meet and conspire to kill him with a spectacularly fattening clair called "La Bombe." Bart overhears them, so he, Marge, and Lisa try to find him before he eats the deadly pastry. Lisa stops him in time and the cops arrest the culprits.

Bill's Arlen High School record for touchdowns is about to be broken, by Arlen's current football hero, Ricky Suggs. When Ricky breaks his leg, the other team allows him to score so he can get the record. Outraged by this bad sportsmanship, Hank convinces the Arlen High coach to let Bill (who never officially graduated from high school) play a game so he can get his record back.

Betty arrives at the Ecomoda company for an interview for the position of presidential secretary with a brilliant resume, but discovers that there is a candidate with more options than she does.