Skinner introduces a fire safety skit to the students. When Flanders catches on fire, the fire department tries to extinguish him, but it doesn't work because Bart is pulling a prank with the fire hose. Skinner has Homer and Marge come to the school, where he recommends a behavior drug called Focusyn. Bart is very reluctant about taking it, so Homer tries to trick him. Marge ends up convincing him to take it and Bart soon changes into the perfect student and son. Returning from a movie, Homer and Marge find that Bart has flipped out and become paranoid. When they take him to the doctor, he runs away. The cops search for him. Bart goes to a military base and steals a tank. He aims it at the sky and shoots down a Major League Baseball satellite, saying that MLB is spying on everyone. Mark McGwire comes out of nowhere to talk to them. Marge then takes Bart off of Focusyn and puts him on Ritalin.

When Peggy gets out of her body cast, she is unable to walk and depressed by the long, slow process of rehabilitation. Cotton decides to teach her to walk again by challenging her, military-style, and inspires her with tales of his wartime heroism. But Peggy starts to lose confidence when she finds out that Cotton's war stories were all fake.

Carrie wonders why she has never become friend with an ex-boyfriend, and decides that if she must start with someone, that someone mind as well be Mr. Big. She calls him up for inviting him over for a dinner, where he breaks the news that he's proposed to his new girlfriend, Natasha. Shocked, Carrie storms out of the restaurant, shouting and yelling about how with her he had a commitment problem for 2 years, but had found no difficulties on proposing to whats-her-name after 5 months. Meanwhile, the other gals try to find friends themselves. After running away (literally) from Steve, Miranda receives a visit from him in her place and ends up in bed with him - they're friends who have sex. Charlotte tries to become friends with a horse and overcome her trauma caused by her best friend - a horse - who threw her from his back when she was a child. And Samantha faces a challenge: she meets a man with a huge penis. So big that she isn't sure she can make it. When the doubt becomes a certain,

The Professor instructs the crew to deliver his newest experiment to his office at Mars University. While there, Bender relives his frivolous college days with his robot fraternity, Epsilon Rho Rho. Fry also gets nostalgiac and fondly recalls dropping out of college. He's determined to prove he can drop out of college by 30th-century standards, so he enrolls at the university. His excitement diminishes quickly upon meeting his roommate Gunter, the Professor's experimental monkey. Guenter's hat is more than just fashionable; it gives him enhanced intelligence, making Fry increasingly envious.

The gang head to a place that sells flowers where a lady is hoping to evolve her Gloom to make things easier.