Colin anchors "Weird Newscasters", along with a trailer-trash woman telling her ex-husband at home what a great lover Colin is (Kathy), a nerdy, nearsighted teenager playing his first game of spin the bottle (Wayne), and John Wayne who thinks the studio's under attack (Ryan); Colin reports a "Newsflash" to Ryan and Kathy from the scene of amateur gross-out stunts; in a raunchy "Party Quirks", Kathy hosts various celebrities getting steamrolled (Wayne), someone who suspects that people are not the sex they claim and is finding out to be sure (Colin), and a hunky model in a photo shoot for the covers of romance novels (Ryan); Wayne, Colin, and Ryan do a post office "Show-Stopping Number".
Kathy wins, so the rest do the "World's Worst" person to share a lifeboat with.

The teams start off at the Chateau Les Baux in Paris, France. The first task is to find a man in a red hat, standing under a miniature Arc de Triomphe. All they have to discover where the man is located, is a flag and a picture of the man. It seems clear that the alliance between Frank/Margarita, Rob/Brennan and Joe/Bill has officially crumbled. The teams discover that the flag is from Tunisia. Before this discovery, some guess Turkey or Morocco. Paul/Amie at departure, notice the cab they had previously ordered the night before is not there. This causes some anger and Paul debates quitting. All the teams must get to Tunisia. Most take plane but some take boat. When they find the man, they are given a Detour. They must take a "Full Body Massage" or "Full Body Brew", involving coffee. They must with the given map find one of these two places in busy crowded streets. When these tasks are completed they must get to El Jem Coliseum. There they must run around the coliseum and most find a sword, located in the "Pit of Death". Dave and Margaretta are the last to arrive and are eliminated. Upon elimination, all of the teams clap and admit they are sad to see the team go.

Two weeks into their first mission of deep space exploration, the Enterprise crew is still breaking in their ship and itching for first contact with another civilization. Captain Archer hears squeaking; Lt. Reed tests his weapons system on an asteroid field; Ensign Sato is trying to keep an alien slug alive; Commander Tucker tries the resequenced protein food; and Dr. Phlox is intrigued by human behavior. Sub-commander T'Pol detects a ship floating immobile in interstellar space, so Captain Archer decides to try to make contact with it. Getting no response, the crew takes a closer look at the alien vessel and sees evidence of weapons fire, and bio-scans reveal lifeforms with very low cellular activity. Over T'Pol's protestations, Archer orders Reed to prep a shuttle, and asks an apprehensive Hoshi to come along.

While the White House is in lock down, Josh and the staff try to put the events of 9/11/01 in context for a group of gifted high schoolers.

Alton investigates the fruity heat of chilies and that ubiquitous condiment: salsa.

Jim and Cheryl are the perfect middle class American couple. Happily married, living in a suburban house with two adorable (but loud) little girls and a baby boy, they really can't complain much about life except for those couple fights that neither one can ever let go, like the time Jim shut the car door on Cheryl. This time the problem is their daughter, whom Cheryl can't leave alone on her first week at kindergarten. Jim says it's because she's a woman and decides to take Ruby himself, but he also can't leave her behind. Things heat up when Cheryl discovers that not only has he been hiding it from her, but he also changed Ruby's school without talking to her. Meanwhile, Jim and Cheryl try to help Andy make up with his girlfriend.

The fatal stabbing of a man leads to the discovery of his status as a Vietnam war veteran and the truths uncovered about an incident that occured with him and three former soldiers in his division.

Tonight, Professor Stephen Morse.

In 2001, scientists announced an amazing discovery: the oldest skull of a human ancestor ever found. The 3? million year old fossil was remarkably complete, and unlike any previous fossil find. Its discovery - by a team led by Meave Leakey of the famous Leakey fossil-hunting family - has revolutionized our understanding of how humans evolved. The great mystery of our evolution is how an ape could have evolved into the extraordinary creature that is a human being. There has never been another animal like us on the planet. And yet ten million years ago there was no sign that humans would take over the world. Instead the Earth was dominated by the apes. More than 50 different species of ape roamed the world - ten million years ago Earth really was the planet of the apes. Three million years later, most had vanished. In their place came something clearly related to the apes, but also completely different: human beings!