Malcolm gets his tongue pierced and needs to hide it for a month. While Lois' mother, Ida, comes and annouces that she will marry a rich Chinese Man that she met on a cruise. Malcolm gets complications when his tongue ring gets infected, rendering him unable to say "S's" and he discovers that Ida has been drugging her fiancé with opiates and mood enhancers. When Lois and Hal confront Ida, she drugs them with free food. But luckily, the fiancé misses a drug treatment, and realizes that Ida is a terrible woman and he leaves her at the altar. Malcolm is punished for his tongue piercing. Meanwhile at the ranch, Otto decides to hire a murder mystery acting troup, but it all turns out badly.

Lucille throws Tobias and Lindsay an anniversary bash on Valentine's Day, inspiring Michael to give a passionate speech about love. Upon hearing his speech, Marta realizes her true feelings for Michael, and Lindsay realizes that she wants a divorce. Meanwhile, Lucille is forced to deal with living alone for the first time in her life when Buster decides to move out of the penthouse.

Gideon, Leo's old mentor at Magic School, asks the Charmed Ones for help finding out who at the school cast the spell that conjured up the deadly Headless Horseman. The Horseman is running around decapitating the faculty, and needs to be stopped before he claims more lives. Elsewhere, a shaman student named Enola sends Phoebe on a vision quest to the future, where she learns Chris' true identity.

Marge, the kids and Milhouse go to the library where they find there are no longer any books on the shelves. With no books for reference, the kids are in danger of not being able to write their reports. Fortunately, Marge knows some history and relates to the children the following tales:



Henry VIII (Homer) tries to find a wife that will bear him a son.

Lewis and Clark (Lenny and Carl) get assistance from Sacagawea (Lisa) in their quest to explore the western territories.

Mozart (Bart) the musical child prodigy wows them in 18th century Austria, while his sister (Lisa) fights for her own musical identity.

When Rich gets hired on at Strickland Propane, Hank goes out of his way to welcome him into the Strickland family. Rich starts to test the waters, with some off-color jokes and comments, and gets a positive reaction from the employees. Everyone except Hank finds this new employee hilarious, and when things go too far, he seeks out an attorney who recommends that Hank file a sexual harassment suit against Strickland Propane.

Jenny confides in her old college professor about her affair with Marina. Bette receives some delightful news. Dana's fears of being outed continue as she juggles between her tennis career and Lara. Alice's mother comes to stay with her daughter.

At a dinner party, Petrovsky breaks the news that Carrie is moving with him to Paris, and Miranda doesn't take the news well. A death at a party causes Carrie to re-examine her life, and the girls' lives, in order to make a decision about Paris.

After evading jury duty, Larry purchases marijuana for his father and comes up with a rather unique way to get to Dodger Stadium in time for a game. All three events later combine to put Larry in a difficult spot.

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