Homer and Bart search through people's garbage for treasure. When Homer goes to Moe's, Barney asks everyone why they didn't celebrate his birthday. It turns out that they did, but he doesn't remember. Moe bought him helicopter lessons as a gag gift. With help from a video Homer shot, he realizes what a drunken loser he really is. He asks for Homer's help in quitting drinking. Barney goes to AA. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa embark on a project to design the next cover of the phone book. They try unsuccessfully to set up inspiring photographs. The sober Barney takes his helicopter lessons and Moe makes Homer the new Barney. Barney and Homer cease being friends. Bart and Lisa try to take a picture on Mount Springfield, but a forest fire traps them. Barney and Homer fly the helicopter to save them. When Barney gets nervous and craves a beer, Homer talks him out of it. They save the kids. Bart and Lisa get their picture on the cover of the phonebook after all, when Marge sends in a baby picture.

Hank's long time barber goes senile, so he turns to Bill, an army barber, for his haircuts. Bill gives him a great haircut, but it turns out that the bill for an army haircut comes to $900. When Hank protests this waste, the army base shuts down its barber unit, and Bill is out of a job.

A series of coincidences leads Scully to a married man she had an affair with during medical school but left him to protect his family.

Tony is stricken by a nasty bout of food poisoning and has a strange dream conversation with Pussy in his delirium. When Tony wakes up, his suspicions are aroused.
The FBI catches Livia at the airport with incriminating evidence against her son. The Feds decide to move against Tony just before Meadow's graduation.

While at his 150th birthday surprise party, Professor Farnsworth is surprised by his age and that it's time for retirement. Questioning his accomplishments and seeking more in life, he revives his clone, Cubert, a 12-year-old boy. But the forlorn Farnsworth realizes that Cubert is just another failed experiment, and decides to accept his fate.

Armando takes Betty dancing a bolero and tries to court her. Armando, who has continued drinking, tells Betty that he is fascinated by her and kisses her. Betty, frightened, runs away.