Deep Space Nine is suffering from numerous glitches. The station's two systems, Federation and Cardassian, are not working well together and the only man who can fix the problems is Chief O'Brien, who is away on assignment. The Chief has gone undercover for Starfleet Intelligence in order to find a Starfleet mole working for the Orion Syndicate. He is able to infiltrate the group with his engineering skills. Now comes the hard part: Being accepted by the Syndicate.

Stardate: 51658.2 While Seven begins assisting a trader named Kovin in the instillation of a new weapons system on Voyager, Seven strikes Kovin after he pushes her aside. Seven begins to show signs of anxiety. The crew's investigation into Seven's erratic behavior, leads them to Kovin's lab on the planet, and what happened to Seven there.

But are the facts leading them to the right conclusion, or to a false accusation against Kovin?

Tommy, tired of having to handle all of the "kid" duties [when in reality he's the oldest member of the mission], decides to retire. After he spends some time at a retirement home, he changes his mind, realizing that a big part of what makes you old is acting - and being treated - like your old. Dick, thinking that Mary is anguished because she never got a chance to fulfill her fantasy of becoming a torch singer, tries to help her to realize that dream. He learns that sometimes the choices we make between two career paths can be right on the money. In a moment of weakness, Officer Don steals a pair of Sally's panties, and makes a series of vain attempts to return them without being caught in the act.

Dick wants to get back together with Mary, so he's in luck when they find themselves locked in the school library overnight. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy search for Dick. Their first (and only) stop: Mary's house.

While Dharma, Abby and Jane try to help a depressed Kitty struggle through her 50th birthday, Greg, Larry and Edward head off to the slopes to stage their own Winter Olympics. To head off Kitty's stated intention of immediate plastic surgery, the daffy trio persuades her to join them, big wigs and scanty dresses donned, on a mission to flirt at a navy bar. Kitty is an immediate hit - until one of the young men tells her she reminds him of his mother! Meanwhile, tobogganing down a mountainside in a canoe, at night, backwards, turns out to be the father and son bonding experience Greg and Edward never found time for.

Valerie presses rape charges against Noah. Kelly and Steve, citing Val's fake pregnancy and abortion, assume that she is lying in an attempt to extort money from Noah. David fights with Steve over his constant sarcastic remarks, and decides to move Val to his house. Donna believes that Noah is innocent, but pushes him away after learning that he did sleep with Valerie. The district attorney declines to file charges due to insufficient evidence; Val files a $10 million civil suit in the hopes of vindication. Josh proposes a $200,000 settlement without consulting Noah, who angrily withdraws the offer. Donna has difficulty keeping up with her work assignments because of her back pain and the effects of the painkillers. Josh supplies her with amphetamines, and she later steals drugs from her father's clinic. Brandon and Steve go on a ride-along with Steve's friend Tammy and her partner. Brandon believes that Tammy's partner used excessive force on a suspect, but decides not to write about it after the man agrees to counseling. The record company threatens to drop David when he stays away from the studio to spend time with Valerie.

Stacey's grandmother puts a curse on Mike after he convinces her to move out, into Manhattan. The Mayor is concerned he's losing his hearing. And there's a void in Stuart's life after he is moved upstairs and is not allowed to make sarcastic comments anymore.

Taking on an apparent mafia murder, Detectives Briscoe and Curtis are stymied by a dead witness and a seemingly incoherent mob boss.

Cartman has been absent for school for some time, and the boys go to his house to find out what's wrong. Cartman has become depressed about not having a father. Cartman confronts his Mother about it, and she says that he was conceived at the 12th Annual Drunken Barn Dance. Meanwhile, Kyle and Stan enter a videotape they made of Cartman holding a tea party with stuffed animals in the weekly contest held by Americas Stupidest Home Videos.