The museum's on fire for today's "Superheroes", with Mad Cow Man (Colin) being assisted by Athletic Slap on the Butt Man (Ryan), Ants in His Pants Boy (Chip), and the Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better Kid (Wayne); a Middle Eastern "Duet" from Chip and Wayne to Neena and Veena; "Scenes from a Hat" are "fast food orders that sound sexy but aren't", "inappropriate times to show off your stomach muscles", "things you don't want to hear as you finish your last bite of dinner", "giving your date's parents too much information", and "things that would make you suspect your doctor did not graduate from medical school"; Neena and Veena return for "Living Scenery", as Ryan and Colin are a newlywed couple gambling in a casino just before retiring to their elaborate honeymoon suite.
Wayne wins, so Chip and Drew are served by Colin and Ryan in the Steven Spielberg "Themed Restaurant".

Jeff appears on "Let's Make a Date", choosing from (and these are taken directly from the screen) an excited teenage girl who decides she can't play the game without bringing her best friends on stage to do it with her (Wayne), an office nerd who just got his CPR certificate and wants to practice his resuscitation skills on everyone (Colin), and a witch who entices the beast to her magic sleeping stool then must find his true love to break the spell and turn him into a prince (Ryan); Colin dodges some skateboarders falling in "Newsflash", with Jeff and Ryan in the studio; "Scenes from a Hat" are "bad topics to open a conversation with", "professions where breaking into song is discouraged", "things that make the audience boo", and "mundane activities that may be improved by nudity"; "Songs of Norway".
Jeff wins, so the rest sing the cheating "Hoedown".

Frank returns to Perfection with some help in another attempt to kill El Blanco and retrieve the key he swallowed. Meanwhile, Larry encounters a creature in a barn and tries to figure of what it is.

A Stargate Command mining operation on a distant planet is attacked by the previously unknown native Unas'. The SG-1 team, along with the Unas called Chaka, is sent to try to negotiate a possible resolution to both sides' issues. It turns out that both sides can help the other, and remain in peace.

Coming Soon...

Stottlemeyer's wife suspects foul play in the death of one of her documentary subjects--the world's oldest man. He dismisses her concerns but has Monk check things out... and Monk suspects a murder really was committed.

Since becoming a grim reaper, George has become quite friendly with Betty, a wildly glamorous co-reaper. But when the dazzling Betty becomes too curious about what lives on the other side of the undead, George learns yet another difficult lesson: Even in the afterlife, friends are hard to keep.

Rated: TV-MA for Adult Content (AC) and Adult Language (AL)
Tonight's episode is Live from L.A.
Senator Bob Graham spoke with Bill via satellite about the classified section of the congressional report on 9/11, (Sen. Graham was a member of the committee that issued the report). The roundtable guests, Angela "Bay" Buchanan, D.L. Hughley and Aaron McGruder, then discussed the reference to Iraq in President Bush's now infamous State of the Union speech. Rev. Al Sharpton then "dropped in" via satellite to talk about Liberia, which piqued further debate on the issue with the roundtable. Conversation then moved to Kobe Bryant, and the issue of rape and consensual sex. Finally, the group touched upon the movement to ban ephedra. Bill then closed the show with the New Rules, where he focused on the movement to recall California Governor, Gray Davis.

Ash finds himself reunited with his old friend Lapras near a coastal town.