It's Ivy week for the Upper East Side teens of Constance Billiard and St. Jude's and the visiting representatives' arrival brings more than just college applications. Cut-throat rivalry is at its sharpest this week as the students compete for prestigious positions. Blair discovers a shocking but juicy secret about Serena and plots to drop the bomb at the best possible moment. Dan is sure that landing the coveted usher position with the Dartmouth rep will either make or break his future at the school. Unfortunately, it's Nate who nabs the position, despite total disinterest in the school. Meanwhile, Jenny gets closer to Serena's younger brother Eric and Rufus asks Lily for a favor.

Ned works in a pie store and seems to lead a perfectly normal life. This, however, is far from the truth. Through his touch, Ned is able to wake people from the dead. He decides to use this ability of his to solve crimes. But this proves complicated, when he gives life back to his childhood crush, and decides to let her keep living.

When disorder erupts among the Pioneers, the Town Council is forced to make some tough decisions regarding the rules and maintaining order that don't go over well with everyone.

Baber and Yasir decide to set up a Muslim cemetary but this does not go over well with some in the local community.

When Chuck runs into Kelly and Gracie having dinner at a restauraunt, he awkwardly joins them for a meal; Montana struggles to get over a cheating boyfriend she learns about live on air.

TAPS heads to San Francisco to investigate claims of activity at the Presidio. Then they talk to a family who believe that an old employee and family friend is still coming to work 20 years after her death.

With Gideon missing, and Hotch and Prentiss off the team, the BAU investigates one of its most difficult cases yet as the remaining agents track a serial killer in Milwaukee who abducts women in public places by using his son as bait.

When Jeff runs into a rival vice principal (guest star John Cho) from a snooty private school, he lets his competitive side get the best of him and signs up for a school faculty basketball league. The teams secret weapon is Eddie, whos a former state basketball champion. However, Eddie has a shocking secret he has kept for over 20 years a secret so astonishing not even Joy knows about it.

Jaime continues to gradually adjust to her new bionic life - all while trying to maintain the normal aspects of her human life. She also befriends a stranger who appears to be very friendly and goes on her first mission.

Two couples are involved in an unfortunate baby switch and the doctors must handle and solve it. Sam treats a client that may upset Naomi. A grandmother goes to extreme lengths to stop her son killing himself with alcohol, but her plan backfires.

Gordon Ramsay heads to Bellmore, New Jersey where he finds a local eatery on its last legs. The Mixing Bowl faces an influx of competition and has almost no customers. The owners have lost their spark and their marriage is crumbling. The manager does not have proper business skills and spends his time on fruitless schemes from coupons to promotional signs to drum up business for the restaurant. Gordon faces a tough challenge as he strives to correct problems with the restaurant's appearance and menu, as well as its staffing problems.

J. Alexander has the girls work on their runway walk while wearing straightjackets. The girls compete in a couture runway challenge and the winner wins a trip to Paris. After an edgy photo shoot on a rock climbing wall, one girl is sent home.

Sheldon Hawkes goes under water to gather clues but could be in danger when he cant come up for air. Mac learns of something else under water.

After seeing a kid with Tourette's Syndrome at the toy store, Cartman becomes obsessed with it. He finds out that with Tourette's, he can say whatever he wants without consequence. Naturally, he calls Dateline so he can get on National TV and take full advantage of his new found life.

Nick searches for his father's killer. When the family has a photo shoot Juliet refuses to be there. Patrick has to deal with his father who wants him to run for the senate.

When a new bride is murdered her husband is the prime suspect. Crews has his doubts and becomes determined to help, not wanting to send an innocent man to prison. Crews goes back to the crime scene that put him in prison and discovers something.

The Top Chef is chosen.

While Team Hughes prepares for the next fight, Team Serra gets down with sake and paint. Joey's makes a final decision on whether he's going to stay or go.

Parisa and Trisha are involved in a love triangle; Cohutta and KellyAnne remain coy about their mutual attraction.

Sarah discovers that the community group she recently joined is a radical anti-abortion group intent on bombing the clinic where Laura volunteers. Meanwhile, a Dungeons & Dragons game interferes with Steve and Brian's plans for a day date.

John Oliver reports on the use of children's books being written to push political agendas in a segment called "One State, Two State, Red State, Blue State". A Republican author came out with these books: Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!, Help! Mom! The 9th Circuit Nabbed the Nativity! (or, How the Liberals Stole Christmas), and The Sky's Not Falling! Why It's OK to Chill about Global Warming. Republicans aren't alone in this, a democratic came out with a book called Why Mommy is a Democrat. In the spirit of partisan politics, John Oliver wrote a few books of his own such as Help! Mom! The Liberals Gutted the Patriot Act and Now There's a Suitcase Bomb Under My Bed!, Heather Had Two Mommies Now Heather's A Prostitute, and Casper: The Third Trimester Aborted Ghost.

Tonight Stephen welcomes former astronaut Jim Lovell.



Also, Stephen talks with syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage about expanded hate crimes laws protecting homosexuals.

Belle is invited to the most prestigious adult party in the country, however her client doesn't want to join the action. So she tries to get rid of him just to engage with a couple she just met - however her personal life gets in conflict with that.