South Park
Season 3

s03e01 / Rainforest Schmainforest

8th Apr '99 - 2:00am
Rainforest Schmainforest Summary

A choir group, "Getting Gay With Kids," visits South Park to recruit more kids for their upcoming concert in Costa Rica for the benefit of the rain forests. The boys are forced to join by Mr. Mackey as a punishment for their unruly behavior in class. In Costa Rica, they leave the "comfort" of the capital to take a tour of a nearby rain forest. Their guide is eventually devoured by a snake, and they become stranded.

8162 have watched this episode

s03e02 / Spontaneous Combustion

15th Apr '99 - 2:00am
Spontaneous Combustion Summary

Kenny spontaneously combusts. The mayor asks Randy Marsh to find a solution. The boys try to help Kyle's dad to get an erection. One way they think they can help is by performing the Stations of the Cross at church crucifying Cartman and waiting three days for his res-erection. Randy Marsh figures out the reason everyone is combusting is because they are withholding their farts.

8161 have watched this episode

s03e03 / The Succubus

22nd Apr '99 - 2:00am
The Succubus Summary

Chef has a new woman enter his life, and he no longer has much time to spend with the boys. He then decides to marry her and get a new job, leaving the school cafeteria to be run by other employees of South Park Elementary. The boys soon discover that the soon-to-be Mrs. Chef is actually an evil Succubus that intends to devour Chef's soul once they get married and set out to stop her.

8155 have watched this episode

s03e04 / Jakovasaurs

17th Jun '99 - 2:00am
Jakovasaurs Summary

Cartman finds a strange, yet annoying, creature in the woods. The boys get Jimbo and Ned to capture it, and they show it to the rest of South Park. It is determined that it is a Jakovasaur -- a species long thought to be extinct. The creature's mate arrives and Mephesto helps them reproduce, creating a multitude of little, annoying, loud creatures. Everybody in South Park, except Cartman, despises the creatures and go to various lengths to get rid of them.

8150 have watched this episode

s03e05 / Tweek vs. Craig

24th Jun '99 - 2:00am
Tweek vs. Craig Summary

While the boys are in shop class, they decide to get Tweek and Craig to fight each other. Meanwhile, Kenny avoids the whole mess by taking Home Economics instead. The boys schedule the fight for after school, so that it isn't disrupted by the shop teacher (Mr. Adler), who is still mourning the tragic passing of his former fiancee. Tweek and Craig, it turns out, do not know how to fight. The boys take Tweek and Craig under their wing to train them for the big fight.

8149 have watched this episode

s03e06 / Sexual Harassment Panda

8th Jul '99 - 2:00am
Sexual Harassment Panda Summary

Mr. Garrison invites the Sexual Harassment Panda to his class to tell them about the laws concerning sexual harassment in school. During the presentation, Stan calls Cartman a dirty name with sexual connotations, prompting Cartman to sue him. This turns the town into a hotbed of lawsuits, all being handled by Mr. Broflovski.

8162 have watched this episode

s03e07 / Cat Orgy (1)

15th Jul '99 - 2:00am
Cat Orgy (1) Summary

This is the first episode in a series that follows each boy individually on the same night.

Cartman's mother goes to a meteor shower party at Mr. Mackey's and hires Shelly to babysit him. Against Mrs. Cartman's rules, Shelly invites her boyfriend, Skyler to the house. Cartman squares off against Shelly when he tries to prove that she has broken his mothers rules, but the pair team up when Shelly looks to get revenge on her boyfriend. Meanwhile, Mr. Kitty is out on the town, searching for action.

8148 have watched this episode

s03e08 / Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub (2)

22nd Jul '99 - 2:00am
Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub (2) Summary

This is the second episode in a series that follows each boy individually on the same night.

Stan and his Parents attend Mr. Mackey's meteor shower party, he sends Stan to his basement, which has become the "Kids' Room". Down there are Pip, and two other kids named Butters and Dougie. Meanwhile the bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms has surrounded Mr Mackey's house which they believe contains a sleeping cult.

The kid's become aware of this and set out to save the day.

8146 have watched this episode

s03e09 / Jewbilee (3)

29th Jul '99 - 2:00am
Jewbilee (3) Summary

This is the third episode in a series that follows each boy individually on the same night.

Kyle and Ike are sent to Jewbilee while their parents go to the meteor shower party. They let Kyle bring Kenny along, as long as Kenny pretends to be Jewish while he's there. The Jew Scouts don't take kindly to non-Jews joining their ranks. The camp is led by elders from different sects of Judaism. A representative from the "Anti-Semitic" sect is cast out for favoring the prophet Haman over Moses. While the rest of the elders summon Moses from their campfire, the anti-Semite hatches a plan to trap Moses' spirit in a conch shell, just as Haman once did.

8143 have watched this episode

s03e10 / Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery

28th Oct '99 - 2:00am
Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery Summary

It's Halloween in South Park again, and all is not well. Father Maxi denounces the holiday as evil, and expresses his disgust in inviting the band Korn to perform, which could only compound the evil that day. Korn and the rest of South Park start seeing pirate ghosts (or are they ghost pirates?) around the pier, making the concert a distinct impossibility. With the help of their space chicken friend, Niblet, Korn set's out to foil the ghosts evil scheme.

8146 have watched this episode

s03e11 / Chinpokomon

4th Nov '99 - 3:00am
Chinpokomon Summary

The kids in South Park have fallen victim to the latest fad: Chinpokomon, a Japanese cartoon/toy line/video game. The adults are concerned about the odd behavior of the children, who have started speaking in Japanese and resembling anime characters. It is soon discovered that Chinpokomon is actually a ploy by the Japanese to overthrow the American government with a loyal horde of brainwashed child-soldiers. To avoid fighting a war against Japan and their own children the adults set out to stop them.

8169 have watched this episode

s03e12 / Hooked on Monkey Fonics

11th Nov '99 - 3:00am
Hooked on Monkey Fonics Summary

The kids from South Park Elementary enter a spelling bee, and lose to the only two kids in town that are home-schooled: Mark and Rebecca. After the exposure to other children, Mark asks to go to public school, where he is berated by his classmates because of his social ineptitude. Meanwhile, Kyle instructs Rebecca on the ways of love and Cartman decides to try home-schooling for himself.

8135 have watched this episode

s03e13 / Starvin' Marvin in Space!

18th Nov '99 - 3:00am
Starvin' Marvin in Space! Summary

An alien from the planet Marklar lands in Ethiopia, but is eaten by lions when he tries to communicate with them. Starvin' Marvin finds the abandoned ship, and goes flying into space, and back down to South Park to visit his foster parents: Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny. He takes them on a trip to the planet Marklar, and they find that the planet would be an ideal environment for Marvin's family and neighbors.

8140 have watched this episode

s03e14 / The Red Badge of Gayness

25th Nov '99 - 3:00am
The Red Badge of Gayness Summary

South Park holds a Civil War re-enactment, and the boys are cast as the fife-and-drum corps. Cartman's percussion stylings are deemed inappropriate, so he decides to play General Robert E. Lee. Instead of losing that battle yet again, Cartman leads the Confederate players to victory , while they drink plenty of S'more Schnapps. He then leads them across the South, reclaiming the cities and forts that were lost to the Union. He finally marches them to Washington, where he demands sovereignty for the Confederacy.

8132 have watched this episode

s03e15 / Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics

2nd Dec '99 - 3:00am
Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics Summary

Mr. Hankey hosts a collection of ten vignettes featuring the cast of "South Park" performing Christmas songs. Included are new interpretations of classic songs, and two entirely new songs: "Christmastime In Hell" by Satan and "Merry F**king Christmas" by Mr. Garrison. One of the vignettes is a lounge act by Jesus and Santa Claus, singing songs about themselves.

8133 have watched this episode

s03e16 / Are You There God, It's Me Jesus

30th Dec '99 - 3:00am
Are You There God, It's Me Jesus Summary

On the eve of the millennium, Cartman announces that he has gotten his period, and therefore has entered puberty. Actually, it was rectal bleeding resulting from a colon infection. Kenny gets his "period" too, and they plan a New Year's celebration alone. Feeling left out, Kyle lies about getting his period, and joins their "goddess" club. Stan decided to go to Dr. Mephesto for hormones, in order to speed up his development. Meanwhile, the world is focused on South Park, since Jesus resides there. To appease people's expectations of the millennium, Jesus puts on a concert in Las Vegas with Rod Stewart.

8133 have watched this episode

s03e17 / Worldwide Recorder Concert

13th Jan '00 - 3:00am
Worldwide Recorder Concert Summary

The third grade class of South Park elementary is invited to play "My Country 'Tis of Thee" at the "4 Million Child Blow 2000" event. When he hears that it's in Arkansas, Mr. Garrison tries to get out of the trip, to avoid contact with his estranged family. After Mr. Mackey forces him to confront his problems, Mr. Garrison reunites with his parents. He tells his father that he has emotional problems because he didn't molest him as a child, giving him a poor self-image. Meanwhile, Cartman is in search of a note on the recorder that causes people to lose control of their bowels.

8134 have watched this episode
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