Stardate: 47304.2 Capt. Picard and Dr. Crusher attempt to beam down to a planet where half the planet wants to join the Federation, and the other half, being xenophobes, don't. Picard and Crusher then find themselves involved in the planet's internal squabbles, as they are beamed instead to the xenophobes location, and then they find their lives in jeopardy, as they try to escape the xenophobes' clutches.

Playboyz. Will and Carlton go hip-hoppin' down the bunny trail at Hugh Hefner's mansion.

Mitch is training for the annual Ironman competition and Garner documents everything on a videotape. Everyone tells Mitch to join the senior league, because he is old enough to qualify for it. But he wants to prove that he is still as good as he used to be and tortures himself during his training. It's obvious that he is going through a mid-life crisis.

Murphy has nightmares about what her colleagues will say about her when they are interviewed for a biography that she has authorized to be written.

Beavis and Butt-head develop a crush on a local bully named Todd, and want to join his 'gang.' Todd treats the boys like dirt, but they don't seem to mind, even when he throws them in the trunk of his car.

In 1918, the Goodfeathers are messenger pigeons on the western front in France. When a unit is caught behind the lines, the Goodfethaers must deliver a message telling them to retreat. They must get through a number of obstacles for delivering the message. When they finally deliver it, however, it is too late. The unit doesn't need to retreat, it has already chased off the enemy.

The Warners go to a boot camp thinking that it is really a summer camp. The drill instructor Sergeant Sweete forces them to into military drills. The Warners, however, still think its a summer camp and give the sergeant a hard time.

Chicken Boo is pretending to be General Boo-Regard, a southern Confederate general during the Civil War. When he is about to lead an attack, his hat is shot off and everyone sees that he is a chicken. Colonel Sanders thinks that the chicken is large enough to feed an army and everyone starts chasing after him.